My Boyfriend Is Nicer to Strangers Than Me: A Reflection on Kindness in Relationships

It's always interesting to observe how people act towards strangers. Some people tend to be hesitant and reserved, while others are naturally outgoing and friendly. It's common for everyone to have their own preferred way of interacting with new people they meet. However, when it comes to close family members, such as partners, we may expect them to treat us with extra kindness and affection. This expectation can be challenged when we notice that our significant other is nicer to strangers than they’re to us. This can lead to feelings of confusion, frustration, and insecurity. But why is this happening? Is it something personal or just a personality trait? These are important questions to explore in order to better understand this dynamic and it’s implications for our relationships.

What to Do When Your Boyfriend Is Too Nice?

Being in a relationship with a boyfriend who’s too nice can be both endearing and frustrating. On one hand, their kindness and generosity can make you feel appreciated and valued. On the other hand, their niceness can feel suffocating and codependent. So, what can you do when your boyfriend is too nice?

One of the first steps is to encourage him to speak up. While it’s important to be mindful and kind, it’s also important for your boyfriend to be able to express his own thoughts and feelings. Encourage him to share his opinions and take a lead in making decisions together. This can help him become more assertive and independent, while also strengthening your communication as a couple.

Another important step is to set boundaries. If your boyfriend is too nice, he may be prone to saying yes to everything and everyone. However, this can lead to burnout and resentment. Encourage him to prioritize his own needs and take care of himself first. It’s okay to say no and set limits, especially when it comes to his own well-being. This can also help him develop a stronger sense of self-worth and respect.

You can also inspire your boyfriend to work on himself. When someone is too nice, they may be a people-pleaser or have low self-esteem. Help him identify his strengths and encourage him to pursue his passions and hobbies. This can help him develop a greater sense of purpose and confidence, which in turn can strengthen your relationship.

It’s important to thank your boyfriend for his kindness, but do so in a way that acknowledges his strengths and self-worth. Avoid praising him only for his niceness, as this can feel condescending or patronizing. Instead, show appreciation for his unique qualities and skills. This can help him feel more valued and respected, rather than just labeled as a “nice guy”.

Finally, explain how his actions make you feel. Gently share your thoughts and emotions, and encourage him to listen and empathize with your perspective. This can help him become more aware and considerate, while also strengthening your emotional connection as a couple.

It’s often said that small gestures of kindness can go a long way in brightening someone’s day. And when it comes to being kind to strangers, the benefits extend far beyond a moment of positivity. In fact, taking the time to show compassion to someone you don’t know can lead to unexpected and meaningful connections. It’s a simple but powerful way to bring people together, and the ripple effect can be felt long after the initial interaction.

Why Should You Be Nice to Strangers?

It’s important to be nice to strangers because it can bring joy and positivity to someones day. A small gesture of kindness, such as holding a door open or giving a compliment, can make a big impact and create a ripple effect of kindness. When we engage with strangers in a kind way, it can lead to a simple conversation that can turn into a lasting relationship. You never know when a new friendship or even a romantic relationship may spark from a chance encounter with a stranger.

Furthermore, practicing kindness towards strangers can also contribute to our own mental and emotional well-being. When we do something kind for someone, it releases chemicals in our brain that enhance feelings of pleasure and positivity. Additionally, it can boost our own self-esteem and sense of purpose, as we know we’re contributing positively to the world around us.

The Benefits of Kindness Towards Strangers in the Workplace or Professional Settings

Being kind towards strangers in the workplace or professional settings can have numerous benefits. It can create a positive and welcoming environment, improve morale and productivity, and enhance overall job satisfaction. Additionally, showing kindness to colleagues can lead to better relationships, increased cooperation, and the potential for future opportunities and networking.


In conclusion, it isn’t uncommon for us to have different attitudes towards people we don’t know versus those we’re close to. However, it’s important to recognize any discrepancies in behavior and strive towards treating all individuals with kindness and respect, regardless of familiarity. It’s a positive attribute that your boyfriend is kind to strangers, and it’s possible for you to also cultivate this trait. By consciously making an effort to be compassionate and empathetic towards others, not only will you improve your relationships with others, but you’ll also improve your own well-being. Ultimately, being kind to others is a simple but powerful way to make a positive impact in the world.