Should Your Wife Come Before Your Parents? – A Discussion on Prioritizing Relationships

The age-old debate about whether one's spouse should come before their parents is a topic that’s been discussed for generations. While many cultures emphasize the importance of family and placing parents on a pedestal, the dynamics of relationships have changed over time, placing a greater emphasis on the partnership of marriage. The idea of choosing between the love and responsibilities of your parents versus the love and devotion of your spouse can be a difficult decision to make, but it’s important to consider what choice is best for your individual relationship. According to relationship expert, Dr. Fran Walfish, it’s crucial to prioritize your spouse above all else, as they’re now your primary family and the foundation of your future. Ultimately, a strong and healthy marriage depends on putting each other first, even in the face of conflict or disagreements.

Does Family Come Before Wife?

The question of prioritizing ones spouse or family is a common topic among many households. It’s a complex and sensitive topic that requires a lot of thought and consideration. However, when it comes to deciding who comes first, I believe that ones spouse should always come first. Why? Because marriage is a covenant of commitment and love that’s built upon a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

It’s understandable that one may feel loyalty towards their blood-related family members. Still, it’s crucial to understand that ones spouse is their immediate family member and should always be given priority. A spouse is the one who’s there for you through thick and thin, always by your side, and has pledged to love, cherish, and support you for a lifetime. Therefore, it becomes natural to put ones spouse first.

In many cultures, the tradition of putting the family first is deeply rooted. However, as our society progresses, it’s essential to understand that a spouse isn’t an outsider but a member of the family. When we get married, we’re building a new family unit that must be prioritized over all other relationships. By doing so, you aren’t only strengthening your marriage, but you’re also creating a stable and secure environment for your children.

It’s vital to understand that putting a spouse first doesn’t mean neglecting or abandoning ones parents or siblings altogether. It’s about setting priorities and deciding who needs your time and attention the most at a given moment. There may be times when a family members needs require immediate attention, but it shouldn’t come at the expense of your spouses time and attention.

This doesn’t mean ignoring your other family members, but instead, it means recognizing that ones spouse is their immediate family member and should be prioritized accordingly. Building a strong and healthy family begins with putting your partner first.

The Role of in-Laws in a Marriage and Setting Boundaries

In-laws can play an important role in a marriage, but it’s essential to establish and respect boundaries to prevent conflicts. Setting boundaries means acknowledging and communicating each other’s expectations and respecting each other’s space. It’s essential to remember that the couple makes decisions together and shouldn’t be influenced by external factors.


In conclusion, the age-old question of whether your spouse or your parents should come first has a simple answer – your spouse. While it’s essential to maintain a healthy relationship with your parents, marriage signifies the start of a new chapter, and your partner becomes your foremost priority. It’s crucial to respect and prioritize your spouse's needs and feelings above all else, creating a strong foundation for a happy and fulfilling life together. By placing your spouse first, you demonstrate a commitment to your relationship and a willingness to work together towards a shared future, which can weather any obstacle that comes your way. Ultimately, a strong partnership built on mutual respect and love will provide the foundation for a happy and fulfilling life together.