Who Comes First: Spouse or Siblings in Islam

In Islam, the family unit is considered of utmost importance and holds a significant position in the society. This is evident from the various teachings of the Holy Quran and the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) that stress on preserving the familial ties and maintaining respect and compassion towards all family members. However, the question of who comes first in the family hierarchy, the spouse or the siblings, often arises in Muslim households. While there’s no definite answer to this question as it’s subjective, Islam provides guidelines and principles that can help individuals navigate this dilemma in a manner that’s pleasing to Allah (SWT).

Who Comes First Your Spouse or Your Siblings?

In a healthy and functioning marriage, the spouse should always come first. This isn’t to say that one should completely cut off ties with their family, but rather prioritize their immediate family over their parents or siblings. Your spouse is your partner for life, and building a strong and loving relationship with them takes time, effort, and commitment. Putting them first shows that you value and cherish the relationship you’ve with them.

When you marry someone, you’re creating a new family of your own. This new family should be at the forefront of your priorities. Your spouse and children are the people who depend on you for love, support, and care. It’s important to remember that your parents and siblings have their own lives and families to attend to. They may not always be able to be there for you, and that’s okay. Your immediate family should always come first because they’re the ones who’re there for you through thick and thin.

Of course, there may be times when you need to prioritize your parents or siblings. For instance, if there’s a family emergency or crisis, you may need to provide assistance. However, this shouldn’t be the norm. Your siblings and parents may have their own partners and families, and should also prioritize them over you in most situations.

This doesn’t mean that your family isn’t important, but rather that your immediate family is the one that you need to focus on building and nurturing. This isn’t only beneficial for your marriage, but also for your children who look up to you and learn from your actions.

In Islamic marriages, both husbands and wives have specific roles and responsibilities. However, according to the Qur’an, men are seen as the protectors and maintainers of women, with a specific role in taking care of their wives and providing for them. This important role is known as QAWWAMUN and is central to the purpose of a spouse in Islam.

What Is the Purpose of Spouse in Islam?

In Islam, husbands are considered to be the protectors and maintainers of their wives, as mentioned in the Holy Quran. Men have been given the responsibility to lead their families and provide for them in all aspects including financial, emotional, and physical needs. A husband is considered the head of the family and has been given the responsibility to guide and advise his wife based on Islamic teachings.

The purpose of a spouse in Islam is to find a partner to share ones life with, and to fulfill the Islamic obligation of starting a family. The Quran states that marriage is a sacred bond between a man and a woman, and is one of the most important relationships in a persons life. A husband and wife are expected to love and respect each other, and to work together towards a common goal of building a happy and fulfilling family life.

Similarly, the wife also has a significant role to play in an Islamic marriage. Women are referred to as “Qanitat,” or obedient to their husbands, as stated in the Quran. This doesn’t mean that women are submissive or inferior, but rather highlights the importance of a harmonious and respectful relationship between husband and wife. A wife is expected to provide comfort and support to her husband, and to take care of the household and children.

The Concept of Mutual Love and Respect in Islamic Marriages

Mutual love and respect are fundamental values in Islamic marriages. Both partners are expected to love and respect each other, communicate openly, and work together to build a happy and productive life. This is guided by the teachings of the Quran and Hadith, which emphasize the importance of equality, compassion, and kindness in relationships. The goal is to create a strong bond that’s based on love, respect, and understanding, and that leads to a successful and fulfilling partnership.

Marriage in Islam is a sacred bond between a man and a woman, and it’s governed by strict rules. These rules aim to ensure that both parties enter into the marriage voluntarily, without any external pressure or coercion. In this article, we will discuss the four rules of marriage in Islam and their significance in ensuring a successful and harmonious union.

What Are the 4 Rules of Marriage in Islam?

Marriage is a sacred institution in Islam where two individuals form a bond of love and commitment to each other in the eyes of Allah. As such, it’s important to follow certain rules and principles to ensure the sanctity of this bond is maintained. The four rules of marriage in Islam are designed to ensure that the marriage is valid, recognized, and void of any illegalities or irregularities.

Firstly, both parties must have the capacity to marry. This means that they must be legally able to enter into a union, such as being of sound mind and having reached the age of puberty. Additionally, they mustn’t already be married to someone else or have a pre-existing marriage contract that hasn’t been dissolved. It’s important to ensure both parties have the legal capacity to wed before proceeding with the marriage contract.

The second rule of marriage in Islam is the proposal (ijab) and acceptance (qubool). This is the formal process through which the parties express their desire to marry each other. The proposal must be clear and unambiguous, while the acceptance must be sincere and unequivocal. This process is usually conducted in the presence of witnesses who can testify to the legality of the union if necessary.

The third rule of marriage in Islam is free consent of both parties. The marriage contract must be entered into freely and voluntarily, without any undue pressure or coercion. Both parties must be fully aware of their rights and responsibilities in the marriage, as well as the consequences of the contract. Marriage shouldn’t be entered into under duress or any form of manipulation.

The fourth rule of marriage in Islam is a consideration (mehr). This is the amount of money or property that the husband promises to pay the wife in case of divorce or death. It’s a form of financial security for the wife and signifies the husbands commitment to fulfill his responsibilities towards her. The amount of mehr is negotiated before the contract is signed and can vary according to the circumstances of the parties.

Finally, there must be no legal impediment to the marriage. This means that the marriage mustn’t be prohibited by Islam or any other law. For example, a marriage between close relatives or between people of the same gender isn’t permitted in Islam. Additionally, it’s important to have sufficient witnesses to the marriage, who can attest to the fulfillment of all the above rules. The number and qualifications of the witnesses may vary according to the school of thought and the specific circumstances of the marriage.

The Role of Parents and Families in Islamic Marriages

Islamic marriages place great emphasis on the involvement of parents and families. They play an important role in facilitating the process, providing guidance and support, and ensuring the marriage is conducted in accordance with Islamic principles and values. Parents and families also have a responsibility to ensure compatibility between the prospective partners and that the marriage will lead to a happy and successful life together. Ultimately, their involvement helps to strengthen the bonds of love and unity within the Muslim community.


Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of nurturing strong relationships with both one's spouse and immediate family members, including siblings. However, when it comes to prioritizing one over the other, it ultimately depends on the specific situation and circumstances at hand. Islam encourages Muslims to prioritize their relationships based on the principles of justice, kindness, and compassion, taking into account the needs and well-being of all parties involved. Ultimately, a healthy and fulfilling family life in Islam is one that values all it’s members equally and strives to maintain harmony and balance in all relationships, whether they be with a spouse or siblings.